Shopping Ninja
by soul eater republican95
Summary: Kyle Haines was not someone who was used to being out of control. As a student in the art of stealth and assassination, he was usually the one doing the creating a situation which he controlled and exploited. Still, no amount of training could have prepared him for the fiery red-head that, through the strangest of circumstances, had become his weapon partner. VictoriaxKyle


**AN: Dear readers, a few months back, Kylemcg returned from university for a weekend and gifted me THIS brilliant one shot. Compared to his work in the beginning of the adventures of Darkstar and his gang, this is literature at its finest. I've been waiting months for this day, and now, I can finally post it. Ladies and Gentlemen, without further adieu, I give to you the one shot about two OC's, who even became my OTP.**

* * *

Kyle Haines was not someone who was used to being out of control. As a student in the art of stealth and assassination, he was usually the one doing the creating a situation which he controlled and exploited. Still, no amount of training could have prepared him for the fiery red-head that, through the strangest of circumstances, had become his weapon partner. At first it had seemed amazing that he had gotten a partner at all, a miracle. Now he wondered if it was a curse.

"Would you please get that sour expression off your face, I'm worried the lemons will get jealous." She grinned at him and threw one of the yellow fruits at him. The grin faltered when he stopped it with irritating ease and took a bite from it. He laughed when she scrunched up her lips, apparently just imagining the taste was enough for her to pucker her lips in distaste.

"Sorry, I'm not particularly fond of... these places." He gestured around him, his discomfort visible.

"How can you **not** like shopping!? It's so fun!" He was about to make a snippy comparison between shopping and being thrown with kunai and how he preferred the latter, but thought better of it.

"You're going to have to explain that one to me, 'cause this is not exactly what I have in mind when the word 'fun' is mentioned." Her emerald eyes bore into him, a glint of irritation in their green depths. She gave an exasperated sigh.

"And here I thought you were a gentleman, willing to escort a lady to the shops. Fine, if you want to leave I suppose that's okay..." He thought he could hear hurt in her voice and scolded himself for being such an ass.

"I...I guess I could join you. What's one day of shopping...right?" He tried to sound enthusiastic. Victoria perked up immediately, giving him a stunning smile.

"Great! First things first then...we got to get you some more clothes, you have startlingly little. Then we have to grab a few things for the apartment, it's still a little bare." She turned and quickly made her way toward the far end of the parking lot, leaving him at the fruit stand with the distinct feeling that he had just been hustled.

He watched as she made her way through traffic at a brisk pace, concentrating on her red hair his eyes wouldn't wander to the jeans that seemed to have been tailored over her athletic figure. She was wearing simple clothes. Dark sneakers, a white hoodie, a black T-shirt with the word SOULLESS on it. It was some band he had never heard of before, but he found the shirt incredibly amusing on the red-head. Somehow she made these plain clothes look extravagant and beautiful, even the worn jeans whose existence he would still not acknowledge.

Maybe admiring her... clothing while walking through traffic was not exactly intelligent, but he got through with only 2 or 3 angry car horns being blown.

"That Prius nearly hit you, which would have been pretty sad really...what are you thinking so hard about?" He could feel his face redden as she scrutinised him.

"Nothing", he said a little too quickly. "I mean nothing much." He tried to sound more natural. "Hmmph... nothing much hey? That's kind of offensive, I know they're kind of old but my Levi doesn't look that bad does it?" Did she have eyes in the back of her head?

He was at a loss for words but she merely turned around again and Kyle swore he saw laughter in her eyes. Before he could think of something to say however she had already disappeared into the crowded mall and he hurried to catch up.

"Hey look, that store seems fairly decent." She didn't even give him a chance to read the name before grabbing him by the arm and forcefully pulling him inside, she was strong for someone who looked so dainty.

The place was fancy, decorated as if some crazy interior designer had way too much time, money and frills on his hands. Even the air smelled as if it had nobility and was harassing his peasant lungs because they were not worthy. When a man who looked as if he bathed in glitter appeared, Kyle realised that the harassing smell seemed to be rolling off him and not from the surroundings.

"Bonsoir Madame and", he hesitated as he inspected Kyle how one looks at a cockroach before crushing it, "...monsieur." Kyle wondered absently if he would be lucky enough to get thrown out of the mall if he punched this skinny pixie of a man through the plexi-glass door of the store. No, the poor door didn't deserve such unfair treatment.

"Hello! We're here to buy some clothes for my friend here, he didn't exactly pack for a permanent stay." She sounded cheerful and excited, clearly in her element.

**And here I'm thinking of punching fake French pixies through glass, I don't even wanna know how much this stuff is gonna cost**_._

"I see sir is quite attached to black... and apparently hasn't been keeping up with the times. Where have you been the past few years? Under a rock perhaps? Or living in a cave? Your style is very outdated." Seeing the cold glare Kyle was shooting at the rude man, Victoria quickly intervened.

"You may leave us, we can look around by ourselves." Just as the man was about to turn and leave Victoria also added, "oh and you might want to reconsider how you treat your customers, I would hate for everyone to find out you've been 'borrowing' some of the stock. With such expensive pieces going missing your employers might not just stop at termination of your contract..." Kyle took great pleasure in seeing the annoying man stand and splutter as the colour drained from his face.

"How did you know he's been stealing from the store?" Kyle asked quietly as she dragged him towards the clothes hanging neatly categorised against the walls. "Oh it was completely a guess heh, I know his type. I've been in many a store before."

"But it was spot on! I could see it in his face, you nailed it precisely! You can't tell me you've been in THAT many stores?" For a second he thought something very sad showed in her eyes and he assumed he must have imagined it. She was still her usual cheerful self.

"Oooh let's see how this fits, maybe with...ah! Yes, this." She started throwing articles of clothing into his arms, faster almost than he could follow. "Uhm Victoria... I don't think I can afford all of this. I mean this jacket costs... oh dear merciful Death I think they must have forgotten to put a comma between these zeros... and even then it better have like a coffee making option."

"Oh don't be so stingy! I'll lend you the money if you have to, no big deal. Just go try these on already." She pushed him into the changing area and went to wait while he changed. The clothes seemed strange, feeling both constricting and too big at the same time. They also just didn't feel... right. There was a mirror in the dressing room and while he could admit to himself that the clothes probably did look better than his usual clothing, but they also seemed out of place.

With every different clothing combination Victoria gave opinions, pointing out good and bad points of each outfit. It seemed that they both at least agreed that they weren't really his style. In the end, after two hours of torture, they were finally done in the store. The only things they had bought were two jeans. Victoria had made a big issue of him only having one old pair and mostly shorts. At least he had gotten such a huge discount on them that he didn't even mind buying them, he suspected a certain pixie was trying to buy their silence.

"Okay I picked a place, which was mostly a complete fail. You tell me where you would shop for clothes." He thought for a moment before a big grin spread across his face.

"I know exactly where, come on. I think you might actually like it a lot. Not fancy though, just saying." He found the store faster than he had expected, nestled between an ice cream bar and a place with an alarming amount of leather in its display windows.

An hour later and he had two extra pairs of shorts and a few new shirts, most with funny or sarcastic images and phrases on them. Victoria bought a few shirts herself, laughing occasionally from the girl's section when she found one she liked. She seemed particularly proud of a green shirt with the words "GOT LISP?" printed on the front. He bought an "I'M WITH THE GINGER" shirt in retaliation.

After stopping for a quick lunch Victoria dragged Kyle to another store, his fries flying as she pulled him along. Three pairs of shoes later and he was walking behind her to the next, trying not to hit people with their shopping bags. He cringed when they entered the make-up shop, not because he was embarrassed, but because a large woman who looked as if she had been making out with a clown greeted them at the door.

"Holy shit I think something just moved inside her hair." He failed to notice the pair of girls who were giggling at his lisp, but Victoria silenced them with a withering look. "You think that's where she keeps her pet cat? She looks like someone who would keep one of those hairless ones on her at all times. To scare of like muggers and small children you know?" She couldn't help bursting out in laughter, a pleasant and warm sound.

"You know, I'm glad I asked you to be my partner. That just made my day, cute and funny!" She said it matter-of-factly, nothing peculiar in her voice, even so he couldn't help blushing. Luckily she had found a bottle filled with some or other liquid he thought seemed radioactive, so she had noticed the sudden increase of red on his cheeks. "Are you sure you want that... whatever it is? It looks like something a terrorist would buy on the black market."

"Yeah no I don't think this is my colour really, maybe something a little less... ominous-glow-y. Ooh that looks kinda nice." She grabbed the new bottle and made her way to the cashier.

"What!? That's how much girls pay for this stuff? It's one little bottle! I could have bought a week's meals with this!" The woman at the register gave him a dirty look but he just shrugged it off. " Besides! I've seen you without make-up! You don't even need it! You're like the prettiest girl in our class!" The receptionist muttered something rude and Kyle turned his attention to her, saving Victoria from having to reply.

* * *

As they walked away from the make-up store, Kyle's ears still ringing from the woman's shouting, Victoria fell into a strange silence. Worried that the scene he made in the store had made her angry or had embarrassed her, the ninja tried to keep his tone light. "Quite a set of lungs she has huh? Are my ears bleeding?" She barely seemed to hear him, her gaze roaming. "Hey, you hungry? It's been a busy day."

She nodded distractedly, focused on anything but the conversation. Kyle sighed heavily. He led her to a tiny cafe that was out of the way, the hustle of the mall had lessened considerably throughout the day and here it was like the rustle of far away traffic. A petite little woman led them to a small table outside in an open terrace with a nice view of a park not far from the busy shopping centre. The outside air seemed to wake Victoria and she gazed around, a dazzling smile forming on her lips. "Oh it's wonderful out here! And I was worried because I had forgotten my umbrella." It was a pleasant day, the sky clearing a little for once. You could just barely see blue between the streaks of gray that was so typical for Britain this time of year.

"Welcome back to the land of the living Miss West, good of you to join me." An amused smile had crept onto his face as she noticed the beautiful surroundings and seemed to forget whatever had been troubling her moments ago. She looked back at the park in an attempt to hide the fact that she had suddenly blushed, which Kyle did not quite understand.

"How did you know of this place? I thought you hated the mall?" He rather thought she was attempting to distract him. "Well I've had to come here out of necessity and by chance I found it, it's my favourite spot in this accursed place. I try to stop here whenever I have to get something, it makes the trips worth it."

"Still, never took you for the cafe type. You seem more..."

"The McDeath type? I am. I told you, this place is... special." Before Victoria could inquire further, their waitress reappeared to take their orders. "Would you two like something to eat with your drinks? We have a delightful couple's special today." At this, a strange noise came from Kyle and it appeared he was choking on an ice cube he had nearly inhaled. As he coughed he somehow got the words "oh no, we're just friends" out and then proceeded to thumping his chest.

"Oh I see, my apologies. Such a pity though, you two seem so cute together." A very flushed Victoria quickly made the orders while Kyle pushed his glass away apprehensively, as if it had deposited the ice into his throat on purpose. "You okay?" She tried to sound concerned but couldn't quite hide the laughter in her voice. "Oh yeah sure, having my life nearly ended by ice is sooooo hilarious, Alex was right... water IS evil!"

"Oh please you wouldn't have swallowed that ice if the thought of us being seen as a couple was so terrible." Her voice was light and joking, but Kyle thought he could hear something else in her tone that he couldn't quite place, something that sounded almost hurt or worried. No, that couldn't be it.

"I don't see why I would mind being seen as that, by all rights **you** should have been the one choking on something at the thought. you're waaaayyyy out of my league." He had meant it completely as a joke, but his laughter was cut short by a somewhat icy look from the red-head.

"And why would that be, exactly?" She sounded annoyed. He was somewhat unsure of what to say. "Hmm let's see. You're beautiful, smart, have great fashion sense and you blackmail stupid French fairies... which makes you higher up the dating ranks than any model, in my opinion anyway." He had hoped the joke would make her laugh but she merely continued looking at him coldly, although he could have sworn he saw the corners of her mouth twitch.

"And you're cute, funny, an extremely talented meister", she ignored his snort at this, "and let's not forget the lisp. I'd say that alone would bring you up to about any dating level I'm at."

"Yeah... and my mother was the Kishin Asura, who wore sequenced dresses and baked pies on Sundays... are you crazy woman!? If the past is any indication, the lisp **lowers** my standings. But besides that, how could you possibly think yours is that low in the first place. You only found out you're a weapon like, the other day and you're already better than most! That's not something any normal person could do. You're basically the perfect girl!" The last part seemed to take her by surprise and she completely forgot the argument she had been stitching together. For a moment she sat stunned.

"Uhm... thank you." She pushed a strand of red hair behind her ear and looked away shyly. "Oh uh my pleasure..." Before the awkward silence could settle however, the waitress appeared with their food, skilfully dodging a toddler who was running gleefully from his exasperated father.

"Here you go you two, one salad for the lady and a cheeseburger for the young man. You know, you would have saved a lot of money with that special..." She looked at Kyle as she said this, an accusatory note in her voice. He merely looked at her warily. "Let's hope next time you eat here you'll have wised up a little." It would have been considered rude normally, but the amusement in her voice and the wink she gave them only made them feel embarrassed rather than offended.

"Well isn't she quite the nosey one..." He offered her a fry but she declined politely. "Maybe she has a point..." Victoria had murmured it very quietly and Kyle couldn't catch what she said. He opened his mouth, a question in his eyes. As if thinking better of it he quickly took a bite of his burger instead. "You sure you just want the salad?" He asked after a moment and Victoria realised his burger had disappeared.

"Uhm...where's your food? Did it magically disappear, grow legs and run away or are you just the fastest eater I've ever met?" He blinked in confusion, then as he looked at his plate he realised with a chuckle what she was talking about. "You sound like my mother. 'Kyle Haines! How many times 'ave ah told ye to chew yer food proper! Chokin ter death aint no way for a youngen like yerself to go, drive yer ol' mum into the ground you will.'" Victoria laughed beautifully, a sound that made him think of rain falling after a drought.

"I didn't know you're Scottish? You don't sound it at all." He made a mockingly serious face. "That, dear miss Victoria... is because you've never heard me swear. You would have no doubts then that I'm Scottish. Actually you might wonder if I'm Irish now that I mention it." Then a wide smile broke out on his face as she giggled again, a sound he was finding he enjoyed quite a lot.

"As to why I don't sound Scottish myself, that's because my father is English and I also grew up here on the main-land. I kind of remember green hills and the smell of the brewery down the street from where we lived but... that's about it, I think I only spent about three years in Scotland. My dad found work here and we moved. London's been my home ever since." A pang of jealousy went through Victoria at the sight of the expression on Kyle's face, a mixture of melancholy and affection.

"How about you then? What's your family like?" Obviously she hadn't hidden her disdain as well as she thought, because for a second she saw concern flash in his eyes. "Oh nothing out of the ordinary, just your typical British family..." She knew she sounded insincere and was hugely relieved when Kyle accepted the slim description. He had never pushed her for any information if he knew it made her uncomfortable.

"You must be the black sheep then." The sentence was so startlingly accurate and unexpected that she knew her expression had to speak volumes. "I mean if they're ordinary...because you're definitely not. Oh no miss West, you are definitely extraordinary." The back of her eyes stung to her surprise. Sure she had received many many compliments in the past, ones that rhymed or sounded incredibly complex or intimate. Kyle's would have been rather dull in comparison if it was not for the crooked smile or the matter-of-fact tone he had said it with.

She knew he meant it wholeheartedly, not even a drop of doubt in his voice. This sincerity made her want to tell him of all her problems with her family, how she really **was** the black sheep, a disappointment and a shame to the name of West. But she couldn't bear arguing with the most sincere and beautiful compliment she had ever received. Instead, she leaned across the table and kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"That was very sweet of you Kyle... thank you very much."

"Oh uh you're very much welcome..." He absently put his fingers on the place where she had kissed him. It had been barely a brush of the lips, but he felt as if the spot was burning slightly. Not painful, but very warm and tender. He looked at his weapon partner then, her green eyes seeming brighter than usual. He wanted to tell her that he felt "extraordinary" didn't even begin to cover it but just as he was gathering up the courage...the waitress reappeared. He thought her smile was slightly smug.

"Would you like to order something else sir? Or shall I bring the bill?" He looked at Victoria questioningly and she politely declined. "The bill please."

"Of course, right away."

After paying, the weapon-meister pair slowly made their way to the exit of the building. Kyle held his rather large assemblage of shopping bags once more. "Sure there's nowhere else you want to stop? I know most of the stores will be closing soon so it's now or never."

"Kyle Haines... if I didn't know better I'd swear you enjoyed shopping today." There was amusement in her voice and she looked at him over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

"Pffft yeah right!" Victoria looked a little hurt and he quickly added, "okay...maybe I did like shopping with you... just a little." She smiled brilliantly.

"I knew it! Kyle Haines... shopping ninja!" He couldn't help but roar with laughter at that. "Yeah yeah okay fine, don't get a big head though. I still want to go home now, there isn't like a night mall...is there?" There was a slight concern under the joking tone but she barely registered it. So far both of them had only referred to the apartment they had been given as just that...the apartment. There was a giddy sort of happiness in her voice when she replied.

"Heh, no there isn't. Let's go home."

* * *

**AN: Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let's debate it! Tell me why you like/love/hate this fic. I'm always open to criticism, even though this isn't my own work, if you guys like the descriptions for example, I'll try and implement it in my work. As I said before, I can't improve unless you, the reader, tells me where to. The Republican out!**


End file.
